living after the death of a baby, living with Autism, living as a family of six, living on our organic homestead, living miserably, hopefully, and with joy, and somedays just living

Posts tagged ‘tap dancing’

On My Mind

Kyle says I seem grumpy today.  I probably am, here’s whats on my mind.

Elijah got in to see the specialist early, really early.   So thanks for prayers and well wishes sent out int the universe.  I’m really excited to have a guide to help us through all of the biomedical treatments that we’re sort of shuffling through on our own.  While I’m relived to some how have jumped the line.  In the end it’s not going to be like getting anitibiotics for an infection.  His autism is not going to ‘clear’ up.  I wonder is it going to be like this forever? Will Elijah have meaningful employment? Friends? Go to college? Fall in love? Get married?

Today while sitting while Petra did ballet class with a few of the moms I knew from P’s last class.  I was asked if the littles were in Kindergarten this year.  I said no and also for the first time mentioned that Eli has Autism, and that we felt he would benefit from home school.  This lead to them to ask all sorts of questions.  About cause, vaccinations ect.  Controversial stuff, and also some general, well, how bad is it for him type questions. I don’t mind them wanting to know, I just was a little unsure about how much I wanted to share about my beliefs about cause, and about Elijah himself.

And on the subject of Petra’s ballet. She was picked for the competitive class. We’re proud of her.  Now she’s just 5, so I thought it was a class for the girls who were good and they taught competitive dance to get them ready for competition next year.  I guess, like  the A string of dancers.  I struggled with putting her in this class, but she wanted to so we signed her up.  It’s a combo class, so we had to buy tap dancing shoes and new ballet slippers since her feet grew.  Not just any kind specific shoes, and they don’t come from Payless.  And today I found out she does indeed dance in two competitions one in Moosejaw and one in Calgary, so hotels and travel costs and competition shoes.  uggg.  She was so excited today though, she loved tap dancing, and she gets to dance Cinderella in ballet class.  Now she was told that a few girls who work really hard will get principal roles.  Yikes, now as grown- ups we know that’s not exactly the way it works.  She could work her tail off, and still not measure up.  I’m okay with that, and somehow I want her to be balanced enough to be okay with it too.  Since it a 5-6 year old class likely the older girls are going to get the roles.  I’m worried she going to be heartbroken when she doesn’t get to be Cinderella, even though she tried really hard.  I’m also worried she might get a principal roll and she’ll be under all kinds of pressure to help win a competition.  Man, maybe I should have said no to the competitive class I’m a wreck about it.

And Lastly,Kyles first class of the year was today.  Summer is over and he’s back to needing to be at work and I’m back to being the stay at home parent.  Time to start using Google calender again.  Our weeks are busy and I need to schedule around work schedules, and dance classes, and swim classes, and therapy appointments.  These are the days of lighting weeks and slow days .

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