living after the death of a baby, living with Autism, living as a family of six, living on our organic homestead, living miserably, hopefully, and with joy, and somedays just living

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

I know that you read my blog.  I have so much I want to tell you, but mostly I wish I could hug and comfort you.  I have never been through what you are going through right now, so I won’t preach that I know what you’re going through, I don’t, but I know what it’s like to hurt.

Mostly I want you to know that life is lived forward and reflected on backward, some day in the future you’re going to look back and think: I made it through.  You’ll likely even find that it was character building, and that you  gained something from the experience.  But there is nothing worse, than going through a miserable patch only to be consoled by future promises.  How can you live today, and even the not so distant tomorrow, if you’re always reaching for next year when it won’t be so bad?  Life throws punches that leave you winded, you can’t suck it up, because you can’t breath.  Go ahead be emotionally injured, you’ve been hurt, it continues to hurt.

We are purposed to experience pain, it’s the only way we can love, and enjoy happiness.  With nothing to contrast against the best in life, there is no pendulum up swing.  When you hurt, it’s okay to hurt.  It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be miserable for a while.  Being sad doesn’t mean giving up happiness, it means you’re sad, sometimes we are sad for a while.  It means the pendulum is headed in it’s backwards motion.  Grieving isn’t just for when people die, it’s when something that existed, or was meant to exists, is no longer possible, or no longer is.   Sometimes we have a say, sometimes we don’t, and even if the choice was yours, it doesn’t mean it’s not supposed to hurt.

I don’t know your whole story, but I know it’s difficult right now, I’m always here to lend an ear.  I know you’re hurt, sad, angry, and questioning it all.  As long as you don’t get stuck there, as long as you don’t make it who you are, it’s okay not to pretend everything is okay, or to hide it well.   I’m confident you won’t get stuck, it seems you have good people.  I’m glad you do, I’m glad you think I can be one of them. See you in 2011 oxoxo


Comments on: "It’s Okay Not To Be Okay" (4)

  1. You are simply amazing.

  2. Oh Erron, I’m so glad I came to your blog and read this tonight. I’m really struggling with sadness and overwhelmedness right now. I feel like I can just barely keep my head above the water. Thank you for posting this. I almost for a second thought it was meant for me. Then I wondered how many others thought the same. It made me happy and sad at the same time.

    • Angela, I’m so sorry you are struggling. I was writing about you (I hope it’s okay, I can retract if you would like) in the post after this one when my email dinged to say you left this comment. While this wasn’t written about you, in a way it was, I wrote it to my blog instead of the person directly because I think it’s for everyone sometimes, myself included.

      How can I hold your head up Angela? If you can think of a way I would be honored to help. I want to help, there’s no one I want to help more. I really do love you, and your whole family to. Powerful love vibes coming your way.

  3. ange ryde said:

    I hope you decide to make you blog public 🙂 it’s messages such as this that spread so much wisdom and much-needed comfort. Thanks for writing xoxo

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