living after the death of a baby, living with Autism, living as a family of six, living on our organic homestead, living miserably, hopefully, and with joy, and somedays just living

What if it’s not?

I bet you can complete this phase thousand of pregnant couples have likely uttered today alone.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl as long as it’s________.  But what if you get the gender you were secretly hoping for, but not a healthy baby. What if you don’t find out that your baby is imperfect for years. What if there was no screening test for your babe. What if there is? If you want a healthy baby, and that’s all that matters, you best adopt, and not some beautiful baby, better to wait 5-8 years to be sure.

You see we all take the gamble when our sticks turn blue, or when the newborn is handed to us. We gamble that our babies will be healthy through pregnancy, and be able to survive labor, then we gamble that our newborn exam will be just fine, and then we gamble that they will have a healthy childhood.    And just what is healthy? Is blind okay if everything else is fine, is autism healthy if the body is fine and there’s no struggle for life, or are we really taking about trisomies, childhood cancers, and sudden life robbing illnesses.

I know a lot of families who all got a boy or a girl, but not the perfect child they imagined and it has nothing to do with their parenting.  We’re seeing a greater reduction in birth defects, so the news is good there, but the rates of childhood cancers,  ADHD, Ashma, lethal Allergies are on the rise, and since it’s my specialty I can give you stats for Autism: 3 in 10,000 kids in 1950, 1 in 1000 in 1980, and today the rate is about 1 in 100, or 110, depending on where you get your information, and if you have a boy 1 in 80.

This wasn’t meant to be a scare tactic entry, but something is going on, it can’t be denied, the debate on what is heated and long, and not for this post.  It’s not for any one post, whole blogs explore it, Scientists are devoted to it, and I don’t think there is any one answer.

Counting on the healthy baby as the only thing that matters may be narrow.  Because the love for the baby you didn’t want is just as strong, and will shape you in bigger ways.  Simply, instead of wrapping what’s important in a cliche saying, commit to loving the baby who’s born to you, for who ever she is, for as long as she’s yours.

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Comments on: "What if it’s not?" (6)

  1. Everyone I know seems to have allergies or asthma now adays. At work there s about 6 of us that use the same type of inhaler. Cancer and auto immune disorders are on the rise. Why is there more autism today? I mean we are not talking about minor change in stats. From 3 in 10k to 1 in 80? That is ridiculous! Yes, there are more treatments and more research to help alleviate symptoms, but really none of these things solve the problem or get to the source.

    You see geographical areas where MS as an example is really high. You have the Wiebo Ludwigs of the world trying to say, I think all of these gas flares are giving us cancer. But in the end, big business and profit win over common sense and quality of life.

    You are right, a woman can do everything imaginable to have a healthy child, but you just never know.

  2. I’m curious as well, those are drastic changes. So what’s changed in the world to cause more Autism? Is that rate continuing?

    • MS has seen huge increases and there are huge MS pockets the kind that are hard to ignore. Well not hard impossible really.

      Shaun huge drastic changes indeed, sadly yes the rates are increasing. What’s changed, what causes it, well depends on who you ask. Some say better diagnosis. Can’t be the the cause if you ask me, there’s no way we had just as many developmentally delayed kids and no one noticed. Some of the other reasons include: Food additives, diet changes, (dare I say) Vaccinations, pollution and exposure to toxic elements, poor prenatal care, labour inductions (and a new paper implicates epidurals), genetic predisposition, leaky gut, yeast over growth in the gut, an inability to absorb nutrients, perhaps poor hypothalamus regulation of hormones, and many more I’m sure I’m forgetting, I haven’t heard of yet, or haven’t been discovered.

      • That’s quite interesting yet scary at the same time. However I think part of it HAS to be diagnosis. Medical advances since the 50’s have been huge and we are able to detect more things earlier and easier now then ever before. Yet some things still go undiscovered.

        I would also guess the environment has a HUGE part to play. There have been drastic changes in the environment since the 50’s as well and that cannot be overlooked.

        Also one thing from my experiences is that there are different levels of autism, correct me if I’m wrong Erron. Cause if it’s 1 in 80 boys then we have A LOT of the population with Autism then.

        So many things going on these days with newly born kids, it’s quite scary.

  3. […] to post it as it’s own entry, so in order for this post to make sense please read this one What If It’s Not , and in the interest of keeping you from having to flip between this post and What If It’s […]

  4. […] it’s the causes of it.  What I’m referring to is Erron’s blog entry called “What if it’s Not” and “In Reply” which is a reply to some of my comments on her blog around Autism and what […]

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