I bet you can complete this phase thousand of pregnant couples have likely uttered today alone. It doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl as long as it’s________. But what if you get the gender you were secretly hoping for, but not a healthy baby. What if you don’t find out that your baby is imperfect for years. What if there was no screening test for your babe. What if there is? If you want a healthy baby, and that’s all that matters, you best adopt, and not some beautiful baby, better to wait 5-8 years to be sure.
You see we all take the gamble when our sticks turn blue, or when the newborn is handed to us. We gamble that our babies will be healthy through pregnancy, and be able to survive labor, then we gamble that our newborn exam will be just fine, and then we gamble that they will have a healthy childhood. And just what is healthy? Is blind okay if everything else is fine, is autism healthy if the body is fine and there’s no struggle for life, or are we really taking about trisomies, childhood cancers, and sudden life robbing illnesses.
I know a lot of families who all got a boy or a girl, but not the perfect child they imagined and it has nothing to do with their parenting. We’re seeing a greater reduction in birth defects, so the news is good there, but the rates of childhood cancers, ADHD, Ashma, lethal Allergies are on the rise, and since it’s my specialty I can give you stats for Autism: 3 in 10,000 kids in 1950, 1 in 1000 in 1980, and today the rate is about 1 in 100, or 110, depending on where you get your information, and if you have a boy 1 in 80.
This wasn’t meant to be a scare tactic entry, but something is going on, it can’t be denied, the debate on what is heated and long, and not for this post. It’s not for any one post, whole blogs explore it, Scientists are devoted to it, and I don’t think there is any one answer.
Counting on the healthy baby as the only thing that matters may be narrow. Because the love for the baby you didn’t want is just as strong, and will shape you in bigger ways. Simply, instead of wrapping what’s important in a cliche saying, commit to loving the baby who’s born to you, for who ever she is, for as long as she’s yours.