I’m a part of this blogging challenge 30 days – 30 posts. I do it because it gets me blogging. I say things, write things rather, that I want to say, things that weigh on my heart, or things that are happening that I feel are worth sharing because they fill in the bigger picture of who I am, not just what I do. I like doing it because it forces me to write. The problem is that I feel forced to write some nights that I’d rather not, but I feel like I should, and so I end up writing something very so/so. I didn’t really want any so/so writing to take up space here, I wanted it all to be deep and have some sort of grand meaning, a purging of my soul. I didn’t want posts that were merely regurgitations of my day. Do you care what kind of breakfast cereal I ate? I hate blogs that go on and on about nothing, I don’t read them, I don’t get them. Peaches was a good blog, I Can Can was not.
I just re-read my very first post The Far Away Girl I wish more of my posts were like it. Not the sadness, I’m glad to be over that, but it is ripe with introspection. I started this blog as a way of reaching out to my friends and to give myself an outlet, someplace I got to just pour out my thoughts. That’s why I do it. I don’t blog for readership, I have search engines blocked and I don’t promote my blog as a “hey I have a blog, come read my awesome blog, and find out how great I am” or even “Hey I have a blog, come read it”, I use a ready made template that hundreds of others use and I’m not even sure how to use most of the features on WordPress. I do sometimes upload my blog to facebook if I feel I have something meaningful to share, but I have my privacy settings restricted to only friends, so I’m always very intrigued when strangers comment on my posts. I don’t have my blog as private, but I don’t think of more than a handful of people, who know me well, as ever reading my blog. Where do people find me? Not that I mind (I mean I could always set my privacy setting, so they couldn’t see me if I did). I’m often touched by people I don’t even know’s comments. I’m not sure why others who don’t know me would find me interesting at all.
I guess always blogging about something deep and profound is unrealistic. I would like this blog to be a collection of my life’s ah ha moments, a work of sharing introspection, perhaps a sharing of feelings with others who totally get what I was writing about in any given post. Perhaps I write as a way of giving you a bit of me, I have to think on that a while, in order to explain that.
The title of my blog reads
living after the death of a baby, living with Autism, living as a family of six, living miserably, hopefully, and with joy, and somedays just living
so ideally it’s about deep introspection and about the big events in my life and how I live through them, but some days it will be about just living, so that will have to do, not for you, but for me, and some days I can peaches and there’s no greater meaning to it.