living after the death of a baby, living with Autism, living as a family of six, living on our organic homestead, living miserably, hopefully, and with joy, and somedays just living

The Professor’s Wife

I can’t wait until the 15th.  You know that. But I wish September would never come.

Kyle is at work in the afternoons these days, but we still have an amazing amount of flexibility. I can make appointments, and not have to worry about Kyles schedule because he can go in late, or come home early if he needs to.

I’ve been through the first semester of a new job once before, and I know it means long hours, and that I do the majority of the parenting, while he figures out how the class needs to be run. I dread it, even though Kyle placates me with the notion that having been though it once before we’ll better manage.

When we were in Chicago work was 80 hour weeks, perhaps more.  Kyle would get up get ready, pour the kids their cereal, and leave.  He would come home just as dinner was being served, help with bedtime, and then retire to his office to work until after midnight most nights.  As a family we were broken.  We got two or so hours a day together, and no time just the two of us.   Our marriage suffered terribly, there where months where we literally had nothing nice to say to each other.  I can say I easily hated him at times.

When he came around to teaching the same courses a second time around, it really did get better, but Kyle, being a perfectionist, still tweaked his slides more than I thought was necessary.

We’re lucky, we really are.  Kyle gets an amazing amount of time of over the holidays and through the summer.  It’s nice, in the time when we’re a two stay at home parent family things run so much better.

This summer is nearly a wash,  just as two summers ago was, moving eats up so much of the time you would otherwise spend leisurely.  But last summer was great.  Really, really great.

When we’re all together it feels like it will never end.  It’s sunny even when it’s cloudy.

There is a down side to this lifestyle, and it’s the transitions.  For any family going from having one stay at home parent, to two, it takes some adjustment.  The rules change, expectations change, even when we eat lunch, and what we eat can change.  For most kids this is hard, but for Elijah this can take weeks to adjust to, and then we have a whole new adjustment period when Kyle leaves, only this one is worse, and I’m left to deal with it single handedly.

Summers are golden and Septembers are dreaded, but, new school, new class, new lecture Septembers, are dreaded with misery and scorn.  Pray my friends that this is our last New School September.

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