So off I went to the doctor’s again to find out about my brain. For those of you who may not know, I have been suffering debilitating headaches since May, and they are now at the point where they don’t go away. Yes that’s right, the nausea and vertigo inducing headaches no longer cease, I wake with it, and try to fall asleep to it’s throbbings. As a positive side affect though, I am losing weigh since eating is far from my mind at any given moment, and nothing seems appealing.
My CT scan came back normal, Praise God! So now I’m off to the neurologist, it should be a pleasent way to spend my 10th anniversary, I think, since my apointment is on the 24th.
Until then I have started Paxil to help alleviate these chronic headaches. Which should really be no big deal right? But I feel strange about it. I have been though many bouts of depression in my life, some bad ,some mild, and worked it through without chemical help. When Kate died I worked hard with two support groups, my Dr., and a personal grief therapist to make it thorough without the use of antidepressants. I have no real reason to feel so adverse to them, I don’t view their users as weak, many people I love have or are using them. I guess I’m just reserved, worried perhaps, that I will feel better overall if I take them proving that I’m not as strong or willfully happy as I think.
And then there are the nursing concerns. I am so happily a nursing mom that I’m not really ready to stop, and yet I certainly don’t want my baby ingesting any brain function altering drugs. Supposedly this is a safe one, and I can still nurse, yet I’m cautious.
So all in all it’s good news, we may have found the answer in taking this new drug, we just have to wait a few weeks. Hey, what’s a few weeks more anyway? And my CT is normal so I can stop worring about all the things those of you who know me well can imagine I was playing through my already painful head.